These Advice shared by A Dad Which Saved Us when I became a Brand-New Parent

"I believe I was simply just surviving for a year."

Ex- Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey anticipated to handle the demands of fatherhood.

Yet the reality quickly turned out to be "utterly different" to his expectations.

Serious health problems during the birth saw his partner Louise being hospitalised. All of a sudden he was thrust into becoming her main carer while also looking after their newborn son Leo.

"I was doing every night time, every change… every stroll. The duty of both parents," Ryan stated.

After 11 months he burnt out. That was when a conversation with his own dad, on a bench in the park, that led him to understand he couldn't do it alone.

The simple words "You aren't in a healthy space. You need assistance. How can I help you?" paved the way for Ryan to speak honestly, seek support and start recovering.

His experience is not uncommon, but seldom highlighted. While the public is now more accustomed to discussing the stress on mums and about post-natal depression, not enough is spoken about the struggles new fathers face.

Asking for help is not weak to ask for help

Ryan believes his difficulties are linked to a broader inability to talk among men, who often internalise harmful ideas of manhood.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just takes the pounding and doesn't fall time and again."

"It is not a display of being weak to ask for help. I didn't do that quick enough," he explains.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert who studies mental health before and after childbirth, says men frequently refuse to admit they're struggling.

They can think they are "not the right person to be requesting help" - particularly ahead of a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental state is vitally important to the household.

Ryan's chat with his dad offered him the space to take a break - going on a short trip overseas, outside of the domestic setting, to gain perspective.

He realised he had to make a adjustment to pay attention to his and his partner's feelings in addition to the day-to-day duties of caring for a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he saw he'd missed "what she was yearning" -holding her hand and listening to her.

'Parenting yourself

That epiphany has reshaped how Ryan perceives being a dad.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his feelings as a dad, which he hopes his son will look at as he matures.

Ryan believes these will help his son to more fully comprehend the language of emotion and understand his approach to fatherhood.

The notion of "self-parenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since having his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen was without consistent male guidance. Even with having an "amazing" connection with his dad, deep-held difficult experiences meant his father struggled to cope and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says bottling up feelings caused him to make "poor decisions" when he was younger to modify how he felt, finding solace in drink and drugs as an escape from the pain.

"You find your way to substances that don't help," he explains. "They may temporarily change how you feel, but they will in the end cause more harm."

Advice for Coping as a First-Time Parent

• Share with someone - if you're feeling swamped, tell a trusted person, your other half or a professional what you're going through. Doing so may to reduce the stress and make you feel less isolated.
• Remember your hobbies - keep doing the things that allowed you to feel like yourself before the baby arrived. This might be exercising, seeing friends or gaming.
• Look after the physical stuff - eating well, getting some exercise and when you can, resting, all play a role in how your mental state is coping.
• Connect with other first-time fathers - sharing their stories, the messy ones, as well as the joys, can help to validate how you're experiencing things.
• Remember that asking for help isn't failing - prioritising you is the optimal method you can look after your loved ones.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen expectedly had difficulty processing the death, having had no contact with him for many years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's determined not to "repeat the pattern" with his boy and instead provide the stability and nurturing he lacked.

When his son threatens to have a tantrum, for example, they do "releasing the emotion" together - managing the feelings constructively.

The two men Ryan and Stephen explain they have become more balanced, healthier men due to the fact that they confronted their issues, altered how they express themselves, and taught themselves to manage themselves for their sons.

"I am now more capable of… processing things and dealing with things," states Stephen.

"I wrote that in a letter to Leo last week," Ryan adds. "I said, sometimes I think my job is to guide and direct you how to behave, but in reality, it's a exchange. I am understanding an equal amount as you are on this path."